Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
