He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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