had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
