My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
