i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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