This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
