im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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