Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize