She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Panties = found
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
