I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She even gives head with a lisp.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
