did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize