he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
