I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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