last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
