and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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