The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Randomize
