I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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