look no pants
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize