gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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