We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
