she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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