Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
