am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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