I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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