So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
