I wish my penis had an off switch
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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