You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
