Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize