The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
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