You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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