I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
