plz talk dirty to me
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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