Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
