My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
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Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
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Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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