just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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