4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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