So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
