If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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