I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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