are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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