I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
