oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
