let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
