it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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