That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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