i'm signing you up for texting rehab
that's an acceptable place to lick
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
