is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
