Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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