are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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