I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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