She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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