he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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