She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
