Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
