Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
