Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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