curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
