Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
