He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
