we're blogging at a bar
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
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Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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